October 22 – “God Is Not One, Neither are We” with Rev. Jill McAllister. One of the unique characteristics of our religious movement is pluralism – the willingness to be different and be together at the same time.
October 29 – Wheel of the Year – All Ages – Samhain / Halloween, followed by Trick or Treat tables hosted by Fellowship Councils and teams, offering ways to get more involved in the life and work of the Fellowship.
November 5 – Interdependence – with Rev. Jill McAllister
November 12 – Tending our Grief – with Rev. Jill McAllister and Susan Sanford
The Brilliant Minds Workshop on January 20th, will invite participants to explore and share their personal experiences with neurodivergence and psydivergence. Please consider taking this very brief survey to assist the planning team in their efforts to meet the most immediate needs of our community.
Our Fellowship youth group will be traveling to Eugene after the Trick or Treat event on October 29th to join other regional UU youth in a Corn Maze Social.
No one has responded to an invitation to help organize a Thanksgiving Festevent Supper, so far. Therefore there is no plan for a Fellowship event on Thanksgiving Day. Are there other ideas? A morning walk? Hosting small groups in homes? Sharing leftovers on Friday? Or? Please contact Rev. Jill if you’re interested in helping make plans.
~Thank you to Alison Smith for donating a new glass-topped stove and oven for the main kitchen, replacing the oldest of our two old ovens.
~Thank you to Jamie Petts, Ginny Gibson, Steve Ferrell, Michael Hughes, and Scott Bruslind for obtaining and installing a new refrigerator/freezer to replace the small freezer in the social hall which stopped working.
~Thank you to John Myers and Louise Ferrell for making a start on an oral history project for the Fellowship.
Once a week on Sundays, we enter together into a time of reflection and centering, as we prepare to share and hold sorrows and joys among us. I often note, as we begin that practice, that centering involves discerning what is most important and what is not most important. Perhaps that distinction is obvious, but more likely it is not. Worship, for us, in general, is an ongoing practice of this aim – to discern and lift up what is most important.
It is easy to believe that what we think is important in any given moment is actually important, because we think it is! We know that is not always true. How often do we carried away with an idea – such as “I have to clean the house before I can invite friends over,” or “I have to get this project done, and then I’ll rest,” or “I have to send these few emails and texts before I give my full attention to my child,” or many other similar ideas which we assume are the most important things – but really aren’t?
The tendency to give most attention to things that are not really important is common among us, and well-practiced. It is accentuated in turbulent times such as these, when it feels easier and safer to focus on making dinner plans, or criticizing a spouse for small things, or complaining about friends or relatives, than to pause and acknowledge war and more local forms of destruction. Of course there are the small things of daily life and personal preference to deal with, and they do have consequences! The challenge is in assuming that they are the most important things.
This is part of the human condition, to be sure. We are not the first nor the last humans to avert our eyes and ears and hearts from much of what is truly important. We are not the first to be afraid, or worried, or eager to let ourselves be distracted. As in every generation, the work is ours to do – to learn to distinguish the most important things, and then to respond as well as we can. We begin again every day – the daily practice.
One of the unique characteristics of our religious movement is pluralism – the willingness to be different and be together at the same time. Historically, this meant we did not require allegiance to a specific theological creed or doctrine. Now it is a much wider effort. The main question is not whether or not we are different from each other, but how we manage our differences while staying true to shared values.
Join us this 4th Sunday, October 22nd, after the service a little before noon in Room 7 for Young Adult Pizza Hour. Get to know your fellow young(er) adults at the UUFC while chowing down on free pizza. (GF and vegan pizza, too!)
If you’re a UU who gets an itchy feeling when you hear the word God, you’re not alone. There are plenty of reasons we might avoid the subject, but our kids will hear the word without our help. It doesn’t matter if you abandoned the notion of God long ago, you’ve got a solid relationship with your Goddess, or you’ve gotten comfortable with just not knowing. I’m all but 100% certain that your kids are going to have questions about God anyway. UU minister, Reverend Robin Bartlett says, “I have a responsibility to say something about god because someone else on the playground, or at a friend’s house, or at a summer camp will fill the vacuum I’ve left if I say nothing at all… I need to counter the message that God picks and chooses, that some souls are saved, but not all souls.”
Let’s explore some ways we might authentically fill that vacuum.
Half an Answer is Better Than an Answer and a Half
When we’re caught off guard, uncomfortable, or overly passionate about a topic — all feelings we might have when our kids ask about the G-word — it’s easy to give too much of an answer, and even start to answer questions that weren’t actually asked.
Sound familiar?
With younger, elementary-aged children, asking more questions before offering answers can help you discern what’s really being asked. Our own baggage can cause us to read too much into the question & give an answer that is too big for our child. Take a breath so you can listen & discern first.
If we give too big an answer, our children are likely to tune out before they get the answer they were looking for. If we’re regulars at giving too much of an answer, they might even develop a habit of not asking.
Remember this: Half an answer is better than an answer and a half!
While this is true for all aged audiences, it’s especially true when talking with our children. By keeping our answers short, we give our children time to digest what they’ve heard & ourselves time to consider what more we wish to say. When we leave our kids with a valid answer, but still wanting more, we make space for the conversation to circle back around a few more times, and these big conversations with no easy answers are at their best when we plant the seed, give it time to grow, and return to tend it regularly.
We’ve got a lifetime for this talk. No need to overdo it on our first go.
Other Ways of Saying God
Very often, “god” is just a quick way to say “something bigger than ourselves that inspires awe.”
If your younger kiddo asked about God, it’s probably best to stick with that word for now and just try not to make it weird.
If you have older kids, though, who are capable of more flexible and nuanced thinking, it can be useful to come up with a list of longhand terms for God that feel less loaded. Then, when you encounter religious wisdom with god talk together, you can evaluate it with more clarity by substituting your longhand terminology to see if it’s wisdom that resonates with you.
Here’s a short list to get you started.
God is:
the Big Mystery Love with a capitol L
the Unknowable Power the Really Real
the Inner Calling the Governing Laws of the Universe
Anne Lamott & Howard
Next month, we’ll be adding prayer to our toolkit. As a bridge from here to there, I offer the words of the brilliant and ever-salty Anne Lamott:
You may in fact be wondering what I even mean when I use the word “prayer.” It is communication from the heart to that which surpasses understanding. Let’s say it is communication from one’s heart to God. Or if that is too triggering or ludicrous a concept for you, to the Good, the force that is beyond our comprehension but that in our pain or supplication or relief we don’t need to define or have proof of or any established contact with. Let’s say it is what the Greeks called the Really Real, what lies within us, beyond the scrim of our values, positions, convictions, and wounds. Or let’s say it is a cry from deep within to Life or Love, with capital L’s. Nothing could matter less than what we call this force. I know some ironic believers who call God Howard, as in “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name.”… Let’s not get bogged down on whom or what we pray to. Let’s just say prayer is communication from our hearts to the great mystery, or Goodness, or Howard; to the animating energy of love we are sometimes bold enough to believe in; to something unimaginably big, and not us. We could call this force Not Me, and Not Preachers Onstage with a Choir of 800. Or for convenience we could just say ‘God.’
Homework for Caregivers
If you can, practice speaking out loud what you would say if your child asked, “What is God?” or “Do you believe in God?” Notice how it goes, and whether it reflects your truest answer. If they’ve already asked and you feel like it could have gone WAY better, don’t fret. It’ll circle back around. And when it does, you’ll have a little practice, and hopefully a little community of support.
Speaking of support…
Ask a friend if they’ve had the god talk with their kids and would be willing to share how it went. If they’re still a part of your life, ask your parents or caregivers about how old you were when you first got curious about God and how they felt. Have their feelings about god shifted over time? If they could go back, would they teach you the same? The more we talk about these topics with our people, the less weighty they start to feel, and then we can approach these conversations with our usual calm.
And, as always, if you want to pop in and discuss the big G or anything else, my door is always open!
We’re trying out a new online version of the weekly announcements here at uucorvallis.org/news. It contains all the same information as the pdf version of the Weekly Announcements that is emailed to you, but in a little different format. This page also includes easy links to the latest information about everything that’s going on at the Fellowship here in one place.
Here are a few things to note:
Under each announcement headline is a short excerpt with link that takes you to the full text.
Like the pdf version, the announcements aren’t in any particular order, expect for that we’ve curated a few of them to appear at the top.
To see announcements from of a specific type, click on one of the tabs on the left. Each tab will have the latest announcements, as well past info. The newest info will still appear under Weekly Announcements, so if you only read the main weekly announcements tab, you should still be up to date.
To see past announcements from previous weeks, you will no longer have to search through your emails. Just click on the button that says “past announcements” at the bottom of the list. It will only show past announcements that have appeared here — not weekly announcements from years past, sorry.
If you want to see a pdf version, you should still be getting it in your email. You can also still find all the Weekly Announcements Archives in the filing cabinet.
In the spirit of the theme for this year, “Building a new Way,” we are working on building new ways of communication to help everyone stay connected.
If you have questions, comments, or ideas about this format for the weekly announcements, or about the website, please email David Servias.
