There is no progress without failure. Yet, in our culture that is focused on sharing highlight reels, it’s easy to forget that there are no real overnight successes. The road to “what’s next” is littered with beautiful “almosts” and “not quites.” Before you start thinking about New Year’s resolutions, come share in a celebration of this past year’s failures that got you to where you are now.
We will reflect on a year’s worth of things that didn’t quite go our way, grieve the dreams that maybe we’re giving up on, and celebrate the new vision that is forming as a result of our failures.
At this event, you can expect some tears, some laughs, and some dancing under disco lights. Best of all, you can expect to walk away with a deeper sense of community because vulnerable sharing and mutual support are an exceptional foundation for new friendships.
The evening will conclude with a potluck snack dinner and discussion. Please bring your favorite comfort food to share!
Don’t miss it! Come let us celebrate you and your awesome, brave failures!
The Brilliant Minds Workshop on January 20th, will invite participants to explore and share their personal experiences with neurodivergence and psydivergence. Please consider taking this very brief survey to assist the planning team in their efforts to meet the most immediate needs of our community.
If you’re a UU who gets an itchy feeling when you hear the word God, you’re not alone. There are plenty of reasons we might avoid the subject, but our kids will hear the word without our help. It doesn’t matter if you abandoned the notion of God long ago, you’ve got a solid relationship with your Goddess, or you’ve gotten comfortable with just not knowing. I’m all but 100% certain that your kids are going to have questions about God anyway. UU minister, Reverend Robin Bartlett says, “I have a responsibility to say something about god because someone else on the playground, or at a friend’s house, or at a summer camp will fill the vacuum I’ve left if I say nothing at all… I need to counter the message that God picks and chooses, that some souls are saved, but not all souls.”
Let’s explore some ways we might authentically fill that vacuum.
Half an Answer is Better Than an Answer and a Half
When we’re caught off guard, uncomfortable, or overly passionate about a topic — all feelings we might have when our kids ask about the G-word — it’s easy to give too much of an answer, and even start to answer questions that weren’t actually asked.
Sound familiar?
With younger, elementary-aged children, asking more questions before offering answers can help you discern what’s really being asked. Our own baggage can cause us to read too much into the question & give an answer that is too big for our child. Take a breath so you can listen & discern first.
If we give too big an answer, our children are likely to tune out before they get the answer they were looking for. If we’re regulars at giving too much of an answer, they might even develop a habit of not asking.
Remember this: Half an answer is better than an answer and a half!
While this is true for all aged audiences, it’s especially true when talking with our children. By keeping our answers short, we give our children time to digest what they’ve heard & ourselves time to consider what more we wish to say. When we leave our kids with a valid answer, but still wanting more, we make space for the conversation to circle back around a few more times, and these big conversations with no easy answers are at their best when we plant the seed, give it time to grow, and return to tend it regularly.
We’ve got a lifetime for this talk. No need to overdo it on our first go.
Other Ways of Saying God
Very often, “god” is just a quick way to say “something bigger than ourselves that inspires awe.”
If your younger kiddo asked about God, it’s probably best to stick with that word for now and just try not to make it weird.
If you have older kids, though, who are capable of more flexible and nuanced thinking, it can be useful to come up with a list of longhand terms for God that feel less loaded. Then, when you encounter religious wisdom with god talk together, you can evaluate it with more clarity by substituting your longhand terminology to see if it’s wisdom that resonates with you.
Here’s a short list to get you started.
God is:
the Big Mystery Love with a capitol L
the Unknowable Power the Really Real
the Inner Calling the Governing Laws of the Universe
Anne Lamott & Howard
Next month, we’ll be adding prayer to our toolkit. As a bridge from here to there, I offer the words of the brilliant and ever-salty Anne Lamott:
You may in fact be wondering what I even mean when I use the word “prayer.” It is communication from the heart to that which surpasses understanding. Let’s say it is communication from one’s heart to God. Or if that is too triggering or ludicrous a concept for you, to the Good, the force that is beyond our comprehension but that in our pain or supplication or relief we don’t need to define or have proof of or any established contact with. Let’s say it is what the Greeks called the Really Real, what lies within us, beyond the scrim of our values, positions, convictions, and wounds. Or let’s say it is a cry from deep within to Life or Love, with capital L’s. Nothing could matter less than what we call this force. I know some ironic believers who call God Howard, as in “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name.”… Let’s not get bogged down on whom or what we pray to. Let’s just say prayer is communication from our hearts to the great mystery, or Goodness, or Howard; to the animating energy of love we are sometimes bold enough to believe in; to something unimaginably big, and not us. We could call this force Not Me, and Not Preachers Onstage with a Choir of 800. Or for convenience we could just say ‘God.’
Homework for Caregivers
If you can, practice speaking out loud what you would say if your child asked, “What is God?” or “Do you believe in God?” Notice how it goes, and whether it reflects your truest answer. If they’ve already asked and you feel like it could have gone WAY better, don’t fret. It’ll circle back around. And when it does, you’ll have a little practice, and hopefully a little community of support.
Speaking of support…
Ask a friend if they’ve had the god talk with their kids and would be willing to share how it went. If they’re still a part of your life, ask your parents or caregivers about how old you were when you first got curious about God and how they felt. Have their feelings about god shifted over time? If they could go back, would they teach you the same? The more we talk about these topics with our people, the less weighty they start to feel, and then we can approach these conversations with our usual calm.
And, as always, if you want to pop in and discuss the big G or anything else, my door is always open!
Wear your costumes to the service on Sunday, October 29th for the intergenerational Samhain service, and stay after for some fun!
All ages are invited to come play games and eat treats while you learn about what our various teams, councils, and board of directors are up to at our third annual Teams and Councils Trick or Treat!
The Holiday Fair Team, in conjunction with Religious Exploration, would like to offer the gift of a free children’s book to any child who attends the holiday fair. Please consider donating a new children’s book for this event. Need help deciding on a book? Skyla can help! Donations can be left in the box outside of the RE office anytime between now and November 26th. Thanks for giving the gift of reading to our children and youth this holiday season!
Acting on our commitment to fostering cross-congregational youth connections, UUFC kicked off the new year by hosting a regional overnight for teens from Washington and Oregon with worship, arts, and small group exploration centered on this year’s theme, building a new way.
Special thanks to this event’s youth deans, Michi Araki, Kameko Araki, and Haven Christison, as well as supporting adults Mark Aron, Becca Bedell, Steve Ferrell, Brandon Abbott, Ryan McConnell, Tyson Bryant, and Anya Ballinger. You represented the spirit of our congregation beautifully and created a memorable weekend for all in attendance. Thank you!
Maybe you’ve got an awesome minister (If you’re at UUFC, you do! ☑️), and a caring Religious Exploration team (Lucky you! You’ve got that too!☑️), and excellent friends and family support (I sure hope you do! ?). Did you know that even with all that, parents and grandparents are still a child’s first and most influential spiritual guides? Yes, YOU! You’re the biggest factor in your child’s spiritual growth and development. How cool ? (and maybe scary ?) is that?
In an effort to support families as they raise faithful and spiritually grounded children, we offer you the Family Faith Formation Toolkit with you! On the 4th Sunday of each month, I’ll be adding a new tool to our toolkit below. Each tool will come with resources and practical ideas for how to explore matters of the spirit with your family, and grow in confidence as a spiritual leader. As always, if you have immediate needs relating to your family’s faith formation, I’m available to chat. Just reach out to dre@uucorvallis.org to set up a time.
This three-week series guides participants through developing an “elevator speech” about their Unitarian Universalist faith. The next time someone asks you “what is Unitarian Universalism?” you’ll be ready with a brief and meaningful statement.
Because UUFC’s RE department subscribes to the Faith Forward program out of the First Unitarian Church of Dallas, our members are invited to this online workshop for FREE! We will register as a group, so please fill out the REGISTRATION FORM BEFORE September 20th, and I will send them our information. You will receive a link to the online platform Teachable, sometime after September 24th.
Direct questions to Skyla King-Christison at dre@uucorvallis.org
Part 1 of the Spiritual Practices Series is a 6-session series that helps participants develop regular disciplines of the spirit – practices that help us connect with the sacred. This series affirms religious diversity while seeking unity in our communal quest for meaning and wholeness. Each session offers a forum for learning, sharing, and growth that can enrich our personal faith journeys.
Join Skyla King-Christison on Monday evenings, Oct. 2nd through Nov. 13th, from 6 to 7pm in Room 7.
Part 2 of this series will be offered in the spring, at which time returning participants can share about how their spiritual practices have evolved since part one, and all participants, new and retuning will explore the topics of worship and ritual, discernment and devotional reading, hospitality and belonging, work and service, retreat, and life as a spiritual practice.
Join us for a 6 week course in culture shift and radical welcome, designed by Rev. Mykal Slack & Zr. Alex Kapitan, and facilitated by Bonnie Morihara.
WHEN: Thursdays from 6 to 7:30pm, September 21st through October 26th.
WHERE: Room 8
WHAT: A video course is designed to watch and discuss together, in an effort to expand our understanding of how to truly welcome folks of all identities into our beloved community.
REGISTER: please help us plan and setup by registering at this link. Thank you!
We offered this warm, challenging workshop over the summer, and at the end, participants said, “This was wonderful! More people need to take this!” If you missed it the first round, we want you to have a second chance.
