Jill McAllister

My decision to retire from the ministry has set in motion a huge transition for me. I’ve worried about the fact that it has set in motion a huge transition for the Fellowship as well.  I’ve worried, but I’ve also begun to be very encouraged by this time of change for all of us.  The life of the Fellowship is a story in chapters – and new chapters are about to begin!   For those of you who are relatively new, I can’t think of a better time to be part of this congregation and its movements and growth.  For those of you who are not new, I have so much faith that making changes will be enlivening and inspiring for you as well.

As part of these movements, the Committee on Ministry and I invite all leaders of teams, councils, projects, tasks (and the Board) to gather together for the next Leadership Supper, which is scheduled for Thursday May 29 at 6 PM.   Leadership Suppers have been happening here for more than 10 years, to help leaders remember and recognize that all the work we do, we do together.  At the coming gathering, we’ll talk about how the transition affects all of us, and what we need to do to be able to manage it well by working together.  

The familiar words of James Vila Blake can be our guide:  “Love is the spirit of this church, and service is its law.  This is our great covenant: to dwell together in peace, to seek the truth in love, and to help one another.”

In the pandemic years, in our isolation and worry, the daily practice we shared was a lifeline for me.  I needed to connect – to myself, to others and to the Earth.  Here is one of the musings of that time, from May 2021:  

“Morning comes early in this season, and I’m surprised how easy it is for me to awaken, to join in the unfolding beauty of these days. I need the beauty.  I need to be reminded of the vitality of life.  I often need to be lifted above the continuing challenges of navigating the human world.  I need help with the mixture of fear and anger which weighs on me – at people and their selfish, short-sighted ignorance. (And meanness).  I need help as I remember that I am one of the people too.  And that we all have egos which lead us astray. 

I’m pondering a Buddhist teaching – I don’t know the source.  It is two definitions side-by-side: “An ecosystem is a community of living organisms in conjunction with the non-living components of their environment, interacting as a system.  An ego-system is a community of old outdated voices in conjunction with the desire to make the moment other than it is, generating a false reality.” 

I’m not sure I quite agree with the first definition – some would say that every component of the world is alive in some way. (But yes, some are not breathing). The second definition is definitely worth pondering.  I’ve learned enough to know that we are always influenced by old outdated voices, within us and around us. Today I’ll try to identify some of my own.

I pause to breathe.  I remember that nurturing inner nobility and steadiness requires time and space and willingness to acknowledge where I am.    With thanks for this part of the path, and this day on the journey, I’m sending love to you all.” 

I caught my breath and sighed deeply at the news of the death of Pope Francis this week, another seismic change in the world.  Then I picked up a book I very recently received – his autobiography, published only a few months ago, titled “Hope.”  Day by day I have begun to read it, as I consider both the gifts of Christianity and its horrible perversions.  We are living in this country with the perversions, writ large.   Pope Francis had a much different perspective.

This is what he said in the introduction:  “People often say ‘wait and hope’ – so much so that the word esperar in Spanish means both ‘to hope’ and ‘to wait’ – but hope is above all the virtue of movement and the engine of change. It’s the tension that brings together memory and utopia to truly build the dreams that await us. And if a dream fades we need to go back and dream it again, in new forms, drawing with hope from the embers of memory.”  

Last Sunday we heard similar perspectives from climate activists such as Ayana Elizabeth Johnson, Terry Tempest Williams, Leah Penniman, and more. Hope is the motion, the movement, that keeps us aiming and working for our highest goals.  Even when we think all is lost.  Love is the motivation.  

I also received this quote from the writings of Tennessee Williams this week, with gratitude:  “This world is violent and mercurial – it will have its way with you.  We are saved by love – love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share; being a parent, being a writer, being a painter, being a friend.  We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.”         

In these days of growing authoritarianism and oligarchy in the United States, these days in which we are living, it is important to name both the dangers and our commitments.  The values we hold in common are all at stake.   Love, and Justice, Equity and Transformation, Pluralism, Interdependence and Generosity are all at stake.  It is important to renew and restate our commitment to our Covenant of Right Relations, to being welcoming and affirming especially to those who are most in danger, to speak up and speak out against all threats to humans, to humanity, and to all of Life.  When we gather on Sundays, let’s remember that it is to encourage and strengthen one another, and to comfort those in most need.  We must maintain our dignity and humanity – our ability to laugh and sing and be joyful – at the same time that we become more vigilant and articulate about our values. 

These are days when community deepens into creating safety and solidarity, and growing our skills for both. 

These are the days of our lives!  Can you hear the Earth calling?  Can you hear the call of Love? 

The date for my retirement has been set:  Sunday July 13 will be my last day.  The Committee on Ministry, the Board and others are beginning to plan several events during which we can reminisce, remember, and celebrate our shared ministry.   A tentative plan includes a Friday evening gathering on July 11 – probably with a “Roast and Toast the Minister” theme, a Saturday picnic for all ages – at the Fellowship on July 12, and a final Sunday service July 13.  There will be music at all the events – involving beloved UUFC musicians and friends.  If you’d like to join in some of the planning for these events, please let Sonia know at office@uucorvallis.org. 

Between now and then we still have time to do much together, and we need to become more intentional about being in this transition and saying goodbye.  As I say this, I feel sadness welling up! Sometimes it is really hard to say goodbye, to move to new places, to start new ways.  All of us know that.  So we’re in this together.

Three months is a good long time to do lots of talking.  I have a need to answer as many questions and concerns as possible, especially about all the things I do.  I imagine making list after list, documenting everything – but that is probably not realistic (because I’m not a good detail person).   I’ll do what I can, and I’ll depend on many of you to help by asking questions, creating lists and more.  Already many of you are in that process, which is helping me remember that I can’t do it alone and I’m not doing it alone. 

At the same time we are all working hard to keep our balance, find our footing, hone our priorities for how to live in this country at this time and how to keep the ideals of a just, peaceful and loving community alive and well.  In other words, we are called to live our religious live with more courage and intention than most of us have ever known.  For the fact that we are doing all of these things together – I am grateful!