Gender and Sexual Diversity Justice Team: Michelle Shouse, Patricia Parcells, Becca Bedell, Rachel Kohler, Rev. Jill McAllister
In Unitarian Universalism, freedom means the freedom of each individual to claim their own identity – to not be defined by others or social norms. Transgender people find this freedom hard to come by in most places – indeed many parts of our wider community are dangerous for trans folks. How can we as a congregation help provide more safety and support for all?
November’s tool in the Family Faith Formation Toolkit is prayer! Pop over to the RE news page and read about the importance of prayer (even when you’re not cozy with the idea of God), a short and easy formula for prayer (in case you’re feeling rusty), and links to inspiring resources, all to help you grow in strength as the spiritual leader of your family!
Prayer can feel like a loaded word, especially if you have an itchy relationship with the term “god.” Still, children have an innate desire to connect with something bigger than themselves, and parents and grandparents are their best spiritual guides. Even if you’re not a fan of the G word, you can teach your child how to pray.
Why pray? Many studies by secular scientists find that prayer can result in reduced anxiety and increased calm and well-being. It’s a great tool to have in your family’s spiritual toolbox!
Not sure how to get started with prayer? Back in the Summer, Reverend Jill McAllister gave us a simple formula for prayer that anyone can use.
address your source of strength
name your complaint
confess your trust
add a petition
express praise & gratitude
EX: Dear Spirit of Love, this world & it news cycles are too much to bear! Love is the only thing I know that can fix this. Please blanket this world in your healing power. Thank you for being a force for good that’s always available.
“I’d go out into a great big field all alone or into the deep, deep woods and I’d look up into the sky…up…up…up into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness and then I’d just feel a prayer.”
That’s just one way to pray. I was twelve the first time I heard Anne Shirley’s ideas about prayer. I knew immediately, “That’s the right way to pray!” For me, anyway.
Some people like to pray with ancient language written in far away places. Some prefer to chant prayers or sing them out loud. Some people like blessings, like those written by Kate Bowler in her book Bless the Lives We Actually Have.
Do you remember how you learned to pray? Who taught you? How did you feel? Consider sharing that experience with your children or grandchildren. Remember, there’s no wrong way to connect with the sacred.
A member of our recent Spiritual Practices workshop found their way to my inbox with a request. “Can we take the word sacred out of the workshop so that people who don’t believe in God will feel welcome?” I want to share with you what I shared with this kind-hearted soul. One definition for “the Sacred” is God. Yes. But another definition I’ve seen used is that sacred refers to anything worthy of awe and wonder. You don’t have to believe in God to experience things that are larger than yourself and inspire a sense of awe. Awe is part of the human experience, and prayer is a way to commune with that. What better gift could we give our families than a framework they can use to regularly connect with the sacred?
Homework for Caregivers
If it’s been a while since you prayed, try out Jill’s 5-step plan for prayer and see how it goes. Pay attention to how you feel in your body when you practice prayer. Do you feel tense? Do scratchy feelings well up reminding you of ways that prayer has been weaponized against you in the past? Are you reminded of people who treat prayer like a divine vending machine, always asking for things to be just the way they want them? Or maybe you feel a melting sense of relief when you connect to something that makes you feel small. Maybe it’s comforting to be reminded that you’re not responsible for everything. That something or someone else can handle some of the care of the world and its people.
As you weigh how things are within you, consider your hopes for the children in your life. Are you hopeful that they can connect with their smallness as well as their power? Are there ways you can help your child voice their needs and wants without the entitlement that comes from the ATM-style prayer? Is there a value, to you, in this kind of practice?
These big questions are best when explored with a parenting partner, a friend, or a mentor. Consider calling up someone in your circle of support and asking them to discuss them with you. When you feel ready, discuss them with your kiddos. You might be surprised what you learn.
And, as always, if you want to pop in and discuss prayer or anything else, my door is always open!
Last Sunday, the YRUU participants went on a scavenger hunt around the building to see if they could find evidence that UUFC members act on their values. Thanks to your awesomeness, they found plenty of clues that the adults in our congregation are actively living into our faith! Thanks for being such excellent UU role models!
It seems folks have other plans and priorities this year, so the Fellowship is not hosting a Thanksgiving Day meal or gathering. If you are interested inviting others to share some of the day with you at your home, or to go for a walk together, or other activity, please let Rev. Jill McA know – minister@uucorvallis.org.
A series of 9 hour-long sessions designed especially for newcomers seeking more information about UUism and the Fellowship AND open to all others who are interested. Sessions take place every Sunday at 11:45 AM Room 6C. This week: Questions and Answers with Rev. Jill McAllister
Thank you to Betty Shelley for offering a class on garbage and trash awareness and management (at the services auction), and for all who participated, who can help raise the awareness of all of us.
In its first off-site meeting since the pandemic, 22 UUFC men met at the Menucha Conference Center Nov. 3-5 to share stories and deep feelings about their lives. Through the lens of engagement, attendees spoke of connecting and disconnecting with others and the lifelong events that had impact on those choices. We met in small and large groups, sang songs, shared our own music and poetry, and spent time in the beautiful Columbia Gorge consolidating our insights and emotions. The UUFC men’s group welcomes all who identify as men and continues to meet weekly, in person at noon on the first Sunday of each month and via Zoom on other Sundays. Contact Jerry Buthmann for details.
Holiday Fair Volunteers. It takes a UUFC village to put on a successful Holiday Fair. We need greenery makers, furniture movers, bakers, greeters, and cashiers. Won’t you volunteer a few hours of your time?
In our hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition, reading #468, by George Odell, is this: “We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted. We need one another when we are in trouble and afraid. We need one another when we are in despair, in temptation, and need to be recalled to our best selves again. We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose and cannot do it alone. We need one another in the hour of success, when we look for someone to share our triumphs. We need one another in the hour of defeat, when with encouragement we might endure, and stand again. We need one another when we come to die, and would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey. All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us.”
This is a beautiful description of interdependence! If, as we considered last Sunday, we need to acknowledge more fully the facts of our deep and complex biological interdependence, we also need to understand our social interdependence as well. We are, biologically, “wired for connection,” and this need informs and affects how we relate to other people. If we strongly value interdependence, then we also value learning how to live more interdependently. After generations of the veneration of individuality as the highest value, and now recognizing the damage that veneration has caused to the social ties which support us all, it is important begin to take the well-being of the whole community into account as much as the well-being of each individual.
This is the truth at the heart of the South African / Zulu philosophy of Ubuntu: “I am a person through other persons. My humanity is tied to yours. I am because we are.” This week for daily practice, consider listing, reciting, cataloging each day the ways in which your humanity depends on others. (Not just your life, but your humanity). Consider being intentional about practicing interdependence. Re-read the piece by George Odell several times, and see if it helps you in this practice. Then let’s share what we learn.