Cameron

Making up after a fight, repairing a relationship after rupture — these can be some of the toughest learning curves for humans.

I will preach on Reconciliation on Sunday.  One tool I will use is a seven-step model from Dr. Hizkias Assefa, who is a Professor in the Conflict Transformation Programme, at Eastern Mennonite University. He works from his base in Nairobi as a mediator and facilitator in civil war situations in many parts of Africa.

But, I believe his seven steps can apply to situations right in your home, your family, this congregation, and this town.

Here are the seven steps that he has found necessary:

1. Honest acknowledgment of the harm/injury each party has inflicted on the other;
2. Sincere regrets and remorse for the injury done:
3. Readiness to apologize for one’s role in inflicting the injury;
4. Readiness of the conflicting parties to ‘let go’ of the anger and bitterness caused by the conflict and the injury;
5. Commitment by the offender not to repeat the injury;
6. Sincere effort to redress past grievances that caused the conflict and compensate the damage caused to the extent possible;
7. Entering into a new mutually enriching relationship.

(Source: The Meaning of Reconciliation by Hizkias Assefa. Published in People Building Peace- 35 Inspiring Stories from Around the World (by European Centre for Conflict Prevention, 1999)

I look forward to hearing from you about how these work for you.  Feel free to make an appointment to talk.  My email is rev.alex.mcgee@uucorvallis.org.

With care,
Rev. Alex

Alex is serving UUFC in the role of Interim Minister and began in August 2025.

Dear Friends and Members of UU Fellowship of Corvallis:

I am sharing lyrics and a video with you, below.  The phrases have nourished me all week, sliding in and out of my awareness, enveloping me like an occasional hug.  

What I see in my mind’s eye with them is this memory from last Friday, January 23 in Minneapolis:  the tall, slender, long-brown-haired woman who is a rabbi, standing at the pulpit of a Lutheran church, with Swedish words in the stained glass above her, and Spanish posters on the altar.  

What I sense in that environment in my memory are coats, more coats, hats, mittens, and backpacks all around me on wooden pews as tired clergy colleagues sing together.  The words sound muddy at first.  But with repetition, and the rabbi’s patient smile and steady voice, we get clearer about the lyrics.  The meaning begins to sink into my heart, and I feel relief and courage.  

She taught us this song when we arrived at 9 am.  Later, at 11:30 am, after hearing that someone had been abducted three blocks away, she leads us again.  There is less space for horror to grab us when we sing this song together.   

“We will not underestimate
our power any longer—
we know that together, we are strong.
Like drops of water shape the rocks
as they rush down the falls,
we know that together,
we are strong.”

To give proper credit, I looked up the composer and share this background with you:  Rena Branson is a Jewish composer, ritual leader, and educator who uplifts personal and collective healing through song. Rena founded A Queer Nigun Project (aqueernigunproject.org), which organizes community singing events for LGBTQIA+ folks and sends Jewish spiritual audio content to people who are incarcerated in NYC jails.

My wish for all of us at UUFC is that power of song continues to hold you in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.

—Rev. Alex