Developing a satisfying spiritual life requires that we regularly set aside time to grow our spiritual muscles with intention rather than always sliding through life on autopilot. Observing a sabbath is one way that we can craft a spirituality that nourishes and sustains us when times get tough. What elements go into a meaningful sabbath practice? What even is a sabbath? Let’s explore together!
Wayne Muller wrote, “We meet dozens of people, have so many conversations. We do not feel how much energy we spend on each activity, because we imagine that we will always have more energy at our disposal. This one little conversation. This one little, extra phone call. This one quick meeting….what can it cost? But it does cost. It drains yet another little drop of your life. Then, at the end of days, weeks, months, years, we collapse, we burn out. We cannot see where it happened. It happened in a thousand unconscious events, tasks and responsibilities that seemed harmless on the surface, but that each one after the other used a small portion of our precious life. And so, we are given a commandment, which is actually a gift- ‘Remember the Sabbath'”
An updated, family-focused version of his list of life-sucking small things might involve carpools, Instagram scrolling, and cleaning up dog barf before setting the table, but the reality is the same now as it was when he wrote those words. We need a Sabbath. We need it for so many reasons. Parents and children, alike.
A Sabbath is a reset and a return to the things that matter most. It does not involve productivity or tangible results, but rather centering connection with ourselves and our values rather than rushing through every minute to get the most things done. Yes, traditionally the Sabbath or Shabbat has taken place on Sundays for our Christian neighbors and Friday evening through Saturday for our Jewish friends. And maybe one of those days works best for you and your family. The spirit of a sabbath, however, can be enacted any day of the week which makes it a sustainable practice for you and your household. Ever since the Spiritual Practices workshop in Adult RE last year, I’ve been engaged in a Sabbath practice on Wednesdays, because I work every Sunday. Choose a regular day of the week, or hour of the week if it’s all you can manage, and make a sabbath plan that serves you and your family.
What should go into a sabbath plan? I’m so glad you asked!
The purpose of a sabbath plan is to assist you and your family in spending time in a different mode, intentionally engaged in practices that help you refocus on that which matters most. That’s going to look different for everyone, but here are some common elements to get you started:
~Many find it helpful to reconnect with their community during their Sabbath, so attending a service with your religious community is a common element of Sabbath.
~Appraoching the routine with a heightened level of awareness and awe is another mode of approaching Sabbath. Members of the Jewish community drop everything, light a candle, and share a family dinner on Shabbat. Sure, we eat dinner every night, but changing the lighting, speaking sacred words of prayer, and preparing a ritual food that is reserved for this special occasion all help us slow down and renew our intention as a family made up of spiritual beings.
~Reconnecting with nature is something that showed up in the vast majority of Sabbath plans that were written in our workshop last year. As Unitarian Universalists, we speak to the importance of living in harmony with our natural world, and spending time fully immersed in our beautiful Pacific Northwest forests and streams can help anchor our hearts in commitment and gratitude for the earth’s bounty.
~Schedule time for a slow spiritual practice like contemplative reading, meditation, or a slow cup of tea by the window to watch the rain and nothing else.
The possibilities are endless because it’s the quality of attention and energy given to the actions that make them worthy of your sabbath.
HOMEWORK FOR CAREGIVERS
Giving your children a rich spiritual vocabulary that includes words like the Sabbath is an easy place to begin if you’re new to this concept. You’re already coming to the Fellowship on Sundays, so ask your children what activities make them feel calm and at peace, what foods do they love that take time to prepare, what do they feel in their bodies when they get the chance to slow down, and see if you can add one thing from their answers to your existing Sunday plans each week. Or, if you’re not reliably together on Sundays, choose a different day to imbue with sacred attention. ask yourself the same questions and make sure that you design, little by little, a Sabbath plan that serves your whole family’s wellbeing.
It might be tempting to commit a longer amount of time on a less regular basis to this practice, and retreats do have their place in the Faith Formation Toolbox, but the Sabbath works on us specifically because it’s regular. You wouldn’t go to the gym for twenty hours straight once a month and expect to develop healthy muscles. You’d expect to get a serious injury! The Sabbath is much the same. Smaller and more frequent commitments to devoting your attention to that which is most important is essential. If you’re not regularly engaging in a sabbath practice, you very well might go on a retreat and experience an unbearable amount of discomfort!
Get out a piece of paper, make a plan, and display it proudly in your home. Make sure everyone in your house participates in the plan, and then everyone can help you remember that, “Hey, Dad! It’s our sabbath day, remember?”
I’m always excited to chat with you about your family’s spiritual practices and rituals. If you need any support in owning your role as the primary religious leader of your household, I’m always just a call or text away!
