The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis
Sunday, May 26, noon.
All are welcome to this new place to listen to each other and provide support.It’s a safe, supportive space for anyone in the Fellowship, open to all ages and identities. We meet the last Sunday of each month at noon in Room 7.
Join us for a place to listen and share your challenges and frustrations.
Summer is coming, and with it the possibility of some Sunday morning services outside under our beautiful trees. We certainly hope to do this once again this summer, depending on having an able crew of helpers for doing all the moving required – of chairs, pulpit supplies, hymnals, and more. If you can be part of this crew – thank-you! Please let Rev. Jill McAllister know. minister@uucorvallis.org
Gratitude is one of those things that is deceptively simple and ridiculously effective. It’s kind of like magic if you actually do it. I remember talking to one of our youth during our summer programming, who said, “My mom is making me do this gratitude thing where I say three things I’m grateful for every day, and it’s like super annoying because it, like, I actually feel better and it doesn’t make any sense.” I have had that same feeling. How can this work so well, and also, if it works so well, how come I have so much difficulty sticking to it every day?
Below, you’ll find some resources and thought for practicing gratitude at home with kids of all ages. Read on!
If we’re not intentional about how we approach a gratitude practice with kids, it can accidentally turn into something known as Brightsiding. I first came across this term at a Queerly Beloved movie night, when we watched a Rom-Com in which the queer, Muslim main character was called out by his friends for denying himself and his friends their negative emotions around their experiences by always insisting that they look on the bright side while being marginalized by their communities. This is a form toxic positivity gaslighting.
When we encourage our families to notice the good, we need to be explicit that we’re not asking them to ONLY see the good, but to ALSO see the good. Our brains have a negativity bias, so we need to be intentional about noticing the good, but not in an effort to deny the bad.
One way you can honor both is by rebranding your gratitude practice as a “roses and thorns” practice. This is something my children and I did when they were small, and now even as young adults, sometimes they’ll ask me, “What was your rose of the day?” when we share time together.
Naming your roses and thorns – the good parts and the bad – is also easier for folx who struggle with decision making. When you say, “Tell me the top three things you’re grateful for today,” a child may feel overwhelmed by the task of choosing just three. When you ask for roses and thorns, there is the possibility of an entire bouquet or simply a single stem. The pressure is off!
We share our roses and thorns at the dinner table, but if you don’t always share meals together, try it as a bedside practice and see what happens!
Researchers at UNC Chapel Hill have been studying gratitude within families in their “Raising Grateful Children Project,” and they have developed some very actionable tools for maximizing the effectiveness of our focus on gratitude.
“The researchers found that most parents focused on what children do to show gratitude. While 85% of parents said they prompted their kids to say “thank you,” only 39% encouraged children to show gratitude in a way that went beyond good manners. In addition, only a third of parents asked their kids how a gift made them feel, and only 22% asked why they thought someone had given them a gift.” (Source: Greater Good Magazine)
The Raising Grateful Children Project have broken gratitude down into 4 component parts to discuss with children.
Parents can foster deeper gratitude with their children by asking questions in these four areas.
Notice: Are there things and people in your life that you can be grateful for?
Think: What do you think about those things and people? Do you think you earned the things you have? Do you think the people in your life known what they mean to you?
Feel: How do the things you are grateful for make you feel? Do they make everyone feel that way? How do you think you make the people you are grateful feel?
Do: Is there a way you can show your gratitude for these things and people? How can you put your gratitude into action?
REFLECTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS
That old adage that the days are long and the years are short is so true for caregivers. Everything about parenting feels high stakes, and intense, and somehow both beyond our control and also entirely our responsibility. It can be hard to access gratitude in the moment, but that’s exactly when it can make the biggest difference. Next time you’re in a hard minute of caregiving, see if these questions can shift your perspective.
If you want to chat about gratitude at home, or anything else, my door is always open!
Wednesday, June 5, 3-5 pm in the UUFC Sanctuary
Gather insight and information on how to move through the life-transitions of downsizing or trying to live more simply. Jesse will cover several aspects of these major steps:
Feeling social? We’ll provide the form that makes it easy to be a host for a group social activity! Picnics? Games? Walking? Puzzles? Movies? You name it! Be sure to sign up at the June 5 meeting.
Come join us to create positive experiences for this time of life!
Hosted by the Aging Successfully in Community team, a part of the RE council.
We are very happy to welcome Portland’s popular Kirtan group Shantala back to Corvallis for a sacred chanting concert on Saturday, May 18 at 7 PM. Benjy and Heather Wertheimer have been leading kirtan (sacred chanting) worldwide since 2001 as the duo Shantala. They are known and loved for their special gift of bringing the audience into a vast and loving experience through their unique blend of exquisite voices with instruments of India and the West. Together they create music with beauty, passion, and reverence.
Heather and Benjy have released nine beautiful and well-loved albums of sacred chant music since 2003, including Living Waters, Jaya, LIVE in love, Sri, The Love Window, LIVE2love and FIVE. They also have a passionate international online following, with hundreds of thousands of YouTube video views, millions of iTunes/Apple Music downloads, and millions of streams on Spotify.They will play in the Sanctuary of the UU with special guests Jared May and Johanna Beekman.
**BUY TICKETS HERE**
https://tickets.brightstarevents.com/event/shantala18may2024
Concert to benefit the UUFC Democracy Action Team stamp fund. Sunday June 30,
4 PM Donation $20 or pay what you can.
Concert to warm the heart, give you courage, and refresh the humor button with a wide variety of music—familiar tunes from the likes of Dylan, Stephen Foster, The Youngbloods, Pete Seeger, Gillian Welch and others, along with a few silly thought-provoking ditties.
Our band is a loose, rough-cut gem that fosters and celebrates community and reminds us of the power of coming together in song.
Music is love.
Treat your heart.
We do this together.
The Pereira/Weiss Band of 5 Musicians
Donation deadline is 5/23.
Vist to the UUFC Auction Page for more details.
For a sneak peek at the services and goods that have been donated so far, go to the catalogue. Happy browsing!
The RE Council will be hosting 2 post-sermon discussions for you to ask questions, voice concerns and ideas, and hear about the approach to multigenerational worship that we will be experimenting with this summer.
These will take place on June 2nd and 19th after the service in the sanctuary. Grab a cup of tea and come catch the vision for a summer of beautiful multigenerational worship!
You can read more about the specific changes coming to RE to help you prepare for our conversation!
Beginning June 9th, we will be adopting a new approach to how we welcome children and youth on Sundays! Nursery and classroom spaces will not be available during this temporary change. If you want to learn more about what’s coming to your hometown UU sanctuary this summer, read on!
Soul Work was popularized by the UUA’s Children and Families Faith Development Specialist, Joy Berry, and is already used by countless congregations around the nation who moved to multigenerational worship after the pandemic impacted their volunteer pools. This approach to multigenerational worship involves having handwork projects — called “Soul Work” in our sacred spaces — available to members of all ages during worship.
Repetitive handwork like embroidery, crocheting, knitting, and coloring mandalas has shown therapeutic benefits similar to meditation. Many folx, young and old, feel better able to settle their bodies and listen when their hands are busy.
While the primary aim of Soul Work in multigenerational worship is to support our youngest members in being appropriately engaged in something quiet while they share our worship space, a side benefit has been referred to as the “NPR effect” by religious educators, who report that kids may look like they’re not paying attention to the service at all, but then a few days after will ask their parents about something that was said by the minister. Just like when kids seem zoned out in the car, but then ask about a Supreme Court Justice who was quoted on the radio. Hopefully, our children and youth will be able to be in conversation with all other members of our congregation around topics that are elevated in the service, making us a more whole and integrated community!
Here’s what it has looked like in other congregations:
I’m so glad you asked!
As you have hopefully heard by now, the classroom wing is getting a safety update sometime this summer. When that process begins — and we have no idea when the work will commence — we will not be able to enter that area for at least three months. What’s an RE team to do? Well, the staff and RE Council have been hard at work making a plan!
After exploring many options (renting other buildings, having children’s RE on a different day of the week, running in circles in a panic until construction is over), adopting Soul Work and starting it on the chosen date feels like the best possible option. Why? Well, many of our volunteers are unable to consistently serve in the summer months, and while I would ordinarily get busy trying to recruit some new summer volunteers (and did do some of that before we landed on this plan), it’s quite difficult to get people to set aside one of their precious few summer Sundays for something that may or may not happen. As you can imagine, it’s not a very compelling ask.
Planning for an unknown future is nearly impossible, so we decided to create some knowns by declaring a start date and implementing something beautiful on our own terms. I’ve been in consultation with DRE’s around our region who have already been using Soul Work in their congregation, learning what what has and hasn’t worked for them, and we’re almost ready to launch!
We will commence multigenerational worship on June 9th and return to our usual Nursery, Spirit Play, as soon as construction on the classroom wing has ended and a full slate of volunteers has been identified. This could be any time between fall and early winter. The reality with construction projects is that the timeline is entirely out of our hands.
Great question! A shelf of Soul Work options will appear near the hymnal racks at the back of the primary aisle toward the social hall. Parents, we invite you to consider stopping by the shelf on your way to your seat and encouraging your child to select something that will keep them busy for a while. If you think your child will need to return to the shelf at some point during the service, we encourage you to sit on an aisle near the shelf to minimize disruption.
I and a volunteer will be available to sit with kids in the gallery who want a little support learning a new handcraft. We’ll keep it to a whisper or silent demonstration, but we recognize that working with someone new is a novelty that might support their capacity to be respectfully quiet in the sanctuary as they acclimate to the space. We’re hoping this approach will be sufficient, but setting up a maker space in the social hall is a backup plan.
Alternative Orders of Service will be available that are simplified for children and we encourage parents and adults who are sitting near children to help them follow along in their Order of Service to help them stay engaged if it looks like they need more than their handwork.
Multigenerational worship is a whole congregation endeavor. For years, we’ve been hearing folx wish for more children in our spaces. For four years, the RE Council has been actively working on expanding our congregation’s capacity for intergenerational connection. This is our chance to put those wishes and skill sets to work to make a meaningful and welcoming worship experience for all of our people, the tall and the small. But we’ve still got a lot of learning to do.
There will be hiccups. There will be disruptions. It will not be perfect. We’re viewing this as an experimental era, where we are committed to trying a way, reflecting, tweaking, and trying again. So the first few weeks will likely look a little different each Sunday as we work things out. I invite you to share your ideas with me and any member of the RE Council as we experiment. We’re here to help this be as smooth and seamless as possible, but we’re being realistic about the challenges ahead.
Kids do make sound. Kids do move their bodies. Kids do sing off key and clap off beat. There will be some distractions. We’re already in talks with the sound team about strategies for those with difficulty hearing, and we’d love to chat with you if that is a concern. We have some ideas, and if you’re a hearing aid user, we’d like to hear your ideas around the use of the Loop or Bluetooth, or other ideas we haven’t even thought of.
We know this is a reality for some, and we’re working toward creating a few zones for worship time in the building. Remember, once the construction begins, this is an unavoidable reality of our circumstances, so it’s nice that we’ve got a little practice time in advance to iron out some details.
We ask that parents of children who have reached their limit of quiet stillness step into the social hall, where they can still hear the sermon and choir while their children have a little more leeway to be active without preventing others from engaging with the service.
And for those who simply need a silent space, we are working towards streaming the service into the library for a completely set apart quiet space for those who absolutely need it in order to be able to focus completely.
It is our hope that the vast majority of adults will take advantage of this time to introduce yourself to the children near you, just as you would any other person in the sanctuary, and help them feel at ease in the sanctuary.
We knew you would! Members of the RE Council will be available in the sanctuary after the service on June 2nd and 16th to answer your questions, hear your concerns and ideas, and share any information about the decision making process that led us here. I hope you will join us!
5-7 PM, Social Hall
Pride is a joyful celebration of all of the beautiful identities of our LGBTQ+ community. The UUFC Sexuality and Gender Diversity Justice Team invites all UUFC friends to join us for a Pride Party. Music, food, games and crafts will be available.
You do not have to identify as “queer” to attend. This is a family-friendly event open to allies and people of all backgrounds.
Volunteers needed to help with set up, clean up… and bringing snacks!
Learn about the Sexuality and Gender Diversity team at UUFC. and our justice work.
NOTE: there is no Queerly Beloved meet -up in June, due to our efforts to plan a pride party.
